Online Dating - Breaking Tradition?

So, let's get right to the point. The topic of the day is one that you're sure to be very familiar with - online dating. Now, I'm old enough to remember the days before the popularization of the Internet, but it's undoubtedly been a huge presence in my life for the last decade or so.

The Internet has developed so rapidly and has become so pervasive that today people can perform almost all their day-to-day activities online. Think about that for a second. If for some strange reason you became trapped in your room, could you survive with just a computer and a connection to the Internet? You probably could.

In fact, there was a guy who did such a thing for a year. He bought his groceries online and had them delivered to his apartment. He bought his clothes, essential supplies, and entertainment via the web. He paid his bills online, he 'worked remotely' to maintain his income. He played games and socialized online. Who knows, maybe he even took care of his romantic needs with the aid of Hewlett-Packard?

OK, so we're not as extreme as that guy. We like feeling the sun on our skin occasionally and the sensations of breathing fresh air. We're NORMAL (right?). However, many of us do attempt to meet people online at websites just like this one. The online dating industry is huge - just look at the slew of sites that are advertised on network television. You know they must be raking in the bucks if they can afford all those cheesy TV spots and get celebrity endorsers like Dr. 'I want you to start living as a gay woman' Phil.

As of 2008, there's no doubt that online dating is popular and progressive. It allows people who may have never had a chance to meet face to face an opportunity to get to know each other. And if they mutually feel like there's an connection, they can arrange to meet in the ‘real world’.

It can be high-tech, utilizing all sorts of personality and socio-psychological tests to match people ‘scientifically’. It allows users to clearly state their demands and expectations, right down to income bracket and political viewpoints. It even offers you a quick way to reject someone you find boring or ugly. Hell, what could be easier than clicking the 'Not Interested' button and having an automated email sent to your unattractive stalker?

So, by many measures, online dating is much more progressive than what we might call traditional methods. You know, where you meet someone in the real world, have a conversation, maybe flirt a bit, and eventually exchange telephone (a tele-what?) numbers. However, my open question to all of you, specifically the women, is ‘Is online dating really that different from traditional dating?’

Let me clarify a bit. In traditional heterosexual dating, it’s expected that a man take the initiative. He’s the one who must approach the lady, express his interest and ultimately put his ego on the line. Now I know things have and are changing, but I believe that today, what I previously said is, by and large, true. In general, women like to be pursued. They like to sit back and watch the suitors roll in and understandably so. If I was a woman I’d enjoy that role as well. I think all men would.

Back to the progressive world of online dating – for once, the playing field is leveled so to speak. It is equally easy for anyone to initiate contact whether it be a email, a IM or a wink/woo/poke/etc etc. However just because both men and women have symmetrical avenues of communication doesn’t mean that both roads are evenly worn.

I’m going to go out on a limb and make a statement supported by nothing more than my own intuition. I say that for the most part, even in online dating, men are expected to and do make the first move.

So to all the ladies who are reading this, what do you say? Do you kick back and wait for the inbox to start filling up? Or do you actually go out and hunt your prey?

Moreover, if you are one of the wait-and-see types, why are you that way? Would it make you feel undesirable if you had to make the first move?

For the pro-active women: similar questions – do you think taking action makes you less womanly? But, do you also think you have more success meeting people because of your willingness to put yourself out there?

Well, that’s it for now. Let’s see if we get any interesting feedback.