Gymettiquette

I recently started going to a gym. It had been almost 2 years since I had been exercising with weights regularly and even now I'm still not back into the flow of things. The gym I go to advertises itself as a place where anybody and everyone can work out without having to fear being 'evaluated' by others.

It has certain rules enacted to discourage so called 'musclehead' behavior. For instance, no bandanas are allowed. No gallon jugs of water. No grunting, no deadlifting, no weight dropping - all things associated with burly he-men lifting massive amounts of weight.

These rules do a pretty good job of keeping out a particular type of gym-goer but the 'anyone can work out here' atmosphere leads to all sorts of people. I'll list some of those types that bug me and then some that I respect.

WTF?!

1. People who dress inappropriately for the gym
I wear mesh shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers. This is pretty standard attire. Some folks wear tank tops, compression shirts, or cut-off t-shirts. That's fine by me. Sweatpants, sure - windpants, that's okay too. Even spandex is okay. But then you have the group of people who come to the gym in street clothes. I'm talking about polo shirts, sandals (some with socks), jeans, khaki shorts, women who wear tops that were certainly intended for club wear...

I'm not sure if these people didn't realize that it might be appropriate to dress in athletic clothes or if they simply were so busy they walked in right off the street and had to get a quick workout in in their work clothes.


Standard gym footwear for far too many...


2. Camoflauge
You're at a gym. You're not hunting and you're not hiding. Why are you wearing camo shorts or a camo shirt? Unless you're in the armed forces you shouldn't be wearing camo at the gym.


No, just no.

3. Men who dress like women
This usually only applies to guys who think they are the next coming of Ahnuld. They show up in these shirts that must be sold at Victoria's Secret. Skimpy little halter tops, spaghetti straps...ugg, it looks so wrong! I'm not sure how wearing women's lingerie makes you more of a manly man.


Ready for your workout, big boy?

4. Social butterflies
These people occupy a piece of equipment while chatting away. They might be sitting on a bench or under a squat rack but the one thing they always have in common is that they're taking up the machine without using it. Usually it's not a problem, but if the gym is crowded it's discourteous.

5. Germ-a-phobes
I've only seen 1 person do this, but it really weirded me out. This old guy was carrying around 2 paper towels - one in each hand and for each piece of equipment he used, he gripped the handles of the machine with these towels. If you're that afraid of germs, you probably shouldn't be in a public place like a gym. Also, do you really have faith the antiseptic properties of a 1mm thick, sweat soaked 55%-recycled post consumer waste paper towel?

6. Mr. Triangle
These guys have massive upper bodies and tiny toothpick legs. They just look funny, that's all.

7. Guy who stands in the locker room naked
Okay, there's a shower so you have an excuse to undress, but it's not necessary to stand in the middle of the locker room with your ass flapping in the breeze. Put on some pants already, geez.

***

Good for you
1. The morbidly obese or obviously out of shape person at the gym
I respect these people because they know they're fat BUT they're trying! Instead of sitting at home complaining about how fat they are while scarfing down M&Ms these people are actually doing something pro-active. Everyone has to start somewhere - kudos to these people.


Hey, at least they're trying.

2. A girl lifting free weights
Assuming the girl isn't in 'the pit' just to attract attention (which would be easy considering there's about a 40:1 male to female ratio) in the free-weight section, I think it's great that she's not weirded out by free weights. Some women have the idea that if they do anything other than cardio and machines they'll hulk up like Lou Ferrigno. Sure it can be intimidating in the pit, so all the more props to the girl who is brave enough to enter.

3. Guy wearing a big sweatshirt
This is the opposite of the guy wearing the lingerie. It can be clear that this guy is huge but he doesn't care about showing off his delts. Instead he's wearing a sweatshirt and is just focused on his exercise. The same goes for the guy with the headphones - he doesn't socialize, he's in his own world where he just does his thing and leaves. No BS.

4. People who wipe down the equipment
It's common courtesy but not everyone does it. A little sweat won't give you AIDS, but still, it's nice to know that the previous person cared enough to clean up a bit.

***

So that's all I have for now folks. My suggestion for all - sneakers, athletic shorts, and a t-shirt. It's a classic for a reason.