The Game

After work today I decided to make a stop at a Starbucks that had recently opened up in the neighborhood. It was surprisingly small and the tables and chairs were all cramped in a crowded rhombus to the right of the counter.

I went up to the counter, looked over the menu for any drink that didn't cost $17 and ordered a 'Grande' (which somehow is medium) Iced Coffee. I don't drink caffeine normally so hopefully this won't give me some sort of nasty reaction.

I sat down at a table with my drink. To my left there was a guy on his cellphone. He looked younger than me, perhaps in college...early 20s. He yapped on and on, call after call. Every time he hung up his phone within 2 minutes he had started a new call ,presumably with someone new.

Oh yeah, the only other customers in the Starbucks were a mother and her young daughter who probably was 7 or 8. To my surprise she let her little kid order a caffeine-loaded Frappuchino. Letting a little girl that age drink that much caffeine can't be good.

Back to the cell phone guy. After about 20 minutes he finally hung up his phone for a brief period in which his friend walked in the door. His friend sat down next to him. I attempted to focus on what I was reading but I couldn't help overhear their conversation because they were talking quite loud and I was seated within 3 feet of them. Starbucks really should get a bigger seating area.

Now if I hadn't been paying close attention I would have thought these guys were talking about business, but they weren't. They were discussing women. And the cellphone guy was rambling on and on in terms I hadn't ever heard of before.

Now, I am admittedly, very analytical, especially about relationships, but I've never realized how ridiculous some of the things that I analyze sound when said in public.

This is an approximation of some of the things I overheard:

"Okay, so tonight I'm going to act as your DHB. I'm going to help you get past Tier 1 and move into Tier 2 of the Comfort Pyramid. Normally this transition takes 6-8 hours, but with my help I can accelerate the process. Let's agree now that we'll both only say good things about each other. We can make mocking jokes, but it must be clear that we're only trying to pump each other up. I'll work hard to present all your best aspects - it's like buying a car - you want to know if it has a nice interior, a powerful engine - except this time it's you. Once we've established your positive qualities we'll begin the devaluation phase on her. The goal is to make her feel inferior to you as to elevate your own standing above her."

Another excerpt:

"You know how sometimes you see a girl in a club and you feel nervous approaching her. Well this is known as 'Approach Anxiety' and it occurs because of three main factors: 1) Fear of rejection, 2) Fear of success, 3)..."

Now I don't know what DHB stands for and at this point I had to leave Starbucks because I couldn't take anymore of hearing this guy blather on. I seriously felt like these guys were conspiring to assassinate Caesar. It was an intricately timed plan, complete with Freudian psychological analyses and contingency plans. The whole thing just felt like a scam. Who knows, maybe it works wonders. Maybe discussing the subtleties of making intentional physical contact (like touching her hand while you speak) seem unintentional is really what it's all about.

Nevertheless I felt thoroughly disgusted after hearing this guy spit his game. I don't like the idea of having to trick women into being interested in you. I mean, hell, what's next, trapping them in a giant cardboard box baited with candy?


How to score hot babes.

Well anyway, this won't keep me from analyzing but it'll sure as hell make me not discuss this type of stuff in public. It makes you sound like a giant douche.

Oh, are you a pilot?

Damn kids...

Have you seen these whippersnappers with their new-fangled "sun-glasses"? I remember back in my day when glasses used to just protect your eyes. Nowadays the 'hip' thing is to wear glasses so monstrous they not only cover your eyes, but they also shield your ears, cheeks, and teeth from the sun's carcinogenic rays.

Why do people feel the need to wear such over-sized spectacles? A friend of mine who sports such novelty glasses explained that it's all about the mystery and intimidation that comes with concealing your eyes and a large portion of your face. Ah, so that's why...you want to look dark and secretive.

Well, I have a solution then for all those who rock aviators. Why not take the mystique to a new level?

Below I've created a pictorial hierarchy of sun-glass coolness. Will you take the next step toward reaching the apex of sun-glassiness?

-

Cool




Cooler




Coolest


That's right...marvel at how little of my face you can see! I am the coolest of all!

Eva Cassidy Revisited

A long time ago I blogged about Eva Cassidy, the shy singer who only really gained fame years after her death in 1996. Today I stumbled back upon that post and rediscovered what an amazing singer and musician she was.

I found an episode of ABC Nightline on Eva's life. I have embedded the videos below in 3 parts. Below that I've embedded additional videos of Eva's music.

In addition to her beautiful renditions of classic ballads, Eva also sang many other styles - including jazz, soul, gospel, folk, blues, rock... I've mixed in songs from each of her styles below.

She truly is the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. Please enjoy and RIP, Eva.

For more information on Eva you can visit this website.

~O~

ABC Nightline Part I


ABC Nightline Part II


ABC Nightline Part III


EDIT: I removed all of the embedded youtube links below because they were making the page load really slowly. Of course you can always just search youtube if you would like to see more of Eva.

Kennedy - "Your Mama"

Can't get this catchy tune out of my head...

It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, I'll even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man to grow old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

~O~

This weekend I attended the wedding of two of my friends, Dan and Julie. Dan and I went to grade school together as well as college. I met Julie through Dan and we ended up being classmates extensively for two years since we were in the same major (BAM - Bowling Alley Management).

Anyway, the wedding took place this past Saturday in the afternoon so Saturday morning two of my friends and I drove down to Philadelphia. The drive wasn't too bad and soon we arrived at the church. The church was quite beautiful with its high arching ceilings and ornate artwork. My gift and duty to Dan and Julie was to play 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring' on my violin during the ceremony. For awhile we waited around the darkened church, trying to keep quiet since we were standing next to some confessionals which were occupied.

Eventually I found the Sister who was going to accompany me on organ during the piece. We ascended the stairs to the organ loft. The view from the loft was inspiring and the acoustics were even more amazing. From up on the loft there was a cavernous reverb. Every note I drew across the strings of my violin resonated profoundly. I ran through the piece twice with the Sister before the vocalists came up to the loft. They were both friends of Julie and I had met one, Mary, previously. I listened to the two of them practice and they sounded angelic. I'm not a religious man but being in such a setting one could easily feel spiritually inspired.

After rehearsing I went back down to the ground level to mingle with some old acquaintances. As the clock got closer to 2 PM more people entered the church and began to be seated. I took this as a cue to return to the loft where I'd watch the entirety of the ceremony.

The ceremony began shortly thereafter and for the next hour or so I watched a series of songs, readings, rituals, and prayers. The priest actually had a pretty funny reference to the movie The Wedding Singer starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. He read the lyrics to the song that Sandler's character serenades Drew Barrymore with. When I saw the movie the song was entertaining, mildly heartwarming, but overall not very significant. But somehow when read in a serious non-Sandlerish voice in the sanctity of a church with hundreds of people listening intently, it gained meaning that it hadn't had before.

Often times people are concerned with finding someone who is fun to be with - in the short term. Many don't really consider the more mundane aspects of marriage - the aspects of partnership that are much less glamorous than those typically associated with romance. When we see Hollywood couples they're always parading around town, dining at fancy restaurants, driving in exotic cars, and getting dressed up for movie premieres. In those types of settings maybe it's great to have the sexy trophy wife/husband on your arm, but what about those less exciting times?

Who is going to take care of you when you're sick? If you got lost on a roadtrip who would you want to have by your side? Would that person make a good parent?

I'm young, so admittedly, I don't think about those things much, but I should. It's much easier to judge people when your most important criterion in finding a mate is how good they look naked. But of course if you have longer lasting aspirations you need to delve much deeper than that.

I'd like to make an analogy to this situation - buying a car. I think young people (myself included) tend to look for mates based on external characteristics - akin to buying a car based on how sporty it looks or what color it is. Maybe you choose it because it's exciting - it can go 0-60 MPH in 3.3 seconds, It can turn on a dime and do burnouts. But the less glamorous features are often ignored - how reliable is the car? Does it require a lot of maintenance? Does it get good gas economy? These are the features that aren't easily discerned at first glance - you need to read the specs - get to know the car at a deeper level.

Sorry for the digression - back to the wedding. I had not had lunch that day so my friends had offered to pick something up for me while I waited for the Sister. Before the wedding had started they handed me a white Styrofoam container and a plastic bottle of iced tea. I retreated to the loft with my food and hid behind the pipe organ. I opened up the container to find a monstrously messy stuffed hamburger. The thing was covered in thick, sweet BBQ sauce and evidently some peppers and onions. It tasted delicious but I had to be so careful not to stain my suit. It was certainly a very impractical meal choice for someone who had to maintain precise finger dexterity when playing the violin moments later. So for the next 15 minutes I sat hidden behind the organ while the Sister played and a wedding photographer worked from the loft. I just hoped no one in the audience below saw me hunched back there like a squirrel eating a forbidden nut.

The time came for me to play. I was so nervous because I hadn't played violin more than 2 or 3 times in the past year. From rehearsal I knew that my arms would stiffen and fatigue after only a few minutes of playing and the significance of the event made my hands sweat. I wiped my hands off in a vain attempt to keep them dry. I really feared that my damp hands would cause my fingers to slide on the fingerboard of the violin with disastrous results.

The Sister gave me a nod and I stood up. I had turned the music stand to face the organ and away from the crowd below. I knew that if I saw everyone staring at me I might freak out so I did my best to ignore them. I started playing and surprisingly I made it through without any discernible problems. I finished the piece, packed up my violin and thanked the Sister. The rest of the ceremony went by quickly.

Later several people told me how nice the violin sounded and how it completely overpowered the organ, which was a total surprise to me since I feared no one would be able to hear me. I was glad that my performance was acceptable and that I didn't ruin one of the most important events of my friends' lives.

*** More to come later


Creepy photo of me up on the balcony. I felt like Batman overlooking the masses below.

Bananas - The Atheist's Nightmare

Perhaps next time you peel that delectable fruit you'll feel the power of God's creation.

Wastes of Time

I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Or perhaps there aren't enough hours where I can be productive - meaning I can't run full throttle every waking hour.

At the bowling alley we sometimes measure the utilization of the lanes - how many hours out of each day they are being bowled on. Of course lanes never are utilized 100% of the time since there's always some gaps between bowling parties. Likewise, as a person I find it hard to stay productive all the time. Unlike bowling alleys, people fatigue physically and mentally and need 'down-time' to recover.

Years ago when I was attending college there were nights where I was studying for big pin-alignment tests where I'd eventually get so tired I'd decide to just go to bed rather than force myself to stay up studying the intricacies of the 7-10 split. I found that tired studying was hardly better than no study at all. So today when I'm going through the course of the day I find sometimes it's better to stop for awhile and then come back later rather than just sludge through it.

As far as wastes of time go there some tasks while necessary are annoying in the fact that they take up time that you could be doing better things with. I'm talking about things like washing dishes, cleaning, doing laundry, buying groceries - basically any task that could be done by someone with a grade-school education.

Now understand I'm not saying I'm too good to do these things, but if I was rich, I'd definitely pay other people to do those tasks. Would it cost less for me to do my own laundry? Almost certainly, but that's not factoring in the value of my time. Let's say I can make $20/hr working at the bowling alley and doing 2 loads of laundry takes me 1.5 including drying and folding time. If the cost of getting my laundry done is less than $30 then it's a better value for me.

I'm not yet at that point in life where I can pay people to clean for me, but I wish I could.

What else would I pay people to do?
- wash dishes
- cook
- buy groceries
- car maintenance
- laundry
- house cleaning
- lawn/yard maintenance
- household supply shopping
- running errands (post office, etc)

There would be certain things that I would always do myself regardless of how rich I was.

- taking care of the kids/pets
- buying any non-consumables (clothes, furniture, electronics, etc)
- paying the bills
- hmm...I guess there really isn't that much to put on this list

The funny thing is it sounds like I desire to be a kid again - where mom and dad did all those things for me! I guess being rich is like being a baby again in some ways!

2000th Hit Anniversary

Believe it or not, this page has now received 2000 hits!

Here is the chronology:
3/31/08 - Counter installed - 0 hits
6/12/08 - 1000th hit recorded
7/08/08 - 2000th hit recorded

So it took almost 75 days to get my first 1000 hits and less than 30 to get my 2nd 1000. Pretty nifty stuff considering I don't advertise my site other than occasionally telling a family member or friend to read the site for a particular story.

Other fun facts:

People have visited my page from at least 34 countries (39 visitors from unknown countries).



66% of visitors use Windows XP while only 18% use Vista. (This might tell you how popular Vista is, Mr. Gates)



A lot of variety when it comes to keyword searches. One line is blurred out because the search term is not appropriate. I like how the guy (or girl) searching for pr0n of Spitzer's call-girl went so far to put the accent on the 'e'.



That's all for now, folks! See you at 3000!

Once You Pop - You May Want to Stop

I don't eat chips frequently but I do remember that Pringles were a family favorite a long time ago. So much so that we even brought them to overseas relatives whenever we went to visit. That and Centrum Silver vitamins. Apparently Pringles and vitamins are hot commodities.

Anyway, the article below describes how in London a judge ruled that Pringles are not potato chips because - get this - they aren't made of potato slices. They're actually made of baked dough. Sounds sick.

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-pringles5-2008jul05,0,1574005.story

A Dead Battery and the Kindness of Strangers

It's Sunday and I realize I'm getting depleted on food so I decide to make a drive out to my local grocery store. I make the short drive, buy my groceries, and load them into the car.

I turn the key...nothing. Absolutely no sound. No whimper, no clicking, just silence. Hmm, odd. I quickly check to see if I left the lights on. Nope. Is the steering wheel locked up? No. I try the key again. Silence. My battery must be dead. I call home and my dad tells me to get the car jump started. I tell him I have jumper cables and then hang up. I don't have cables.

I realize that my car is loaded up with perishable groceries in the 90 degree heat so I quickly reload my cart and push it inside. I explain my situation to an employee and she tells me she can put my cart in the fridge. I hand off the cart and rush back outside. For awhile I ask people if they have jumper cables...2 or 3 didn't have them. Then this man pulls up in a SUV and asks me if I need a jump. I say yes and he's extremely helpful, however my car is parked headfirst and flanked on both sides. Worse yet, I can't get my car into neutral. The guy is really going out of his way to help me. He pulls around to the other side of the lot and literally drives his SUV up over the curb between another car and a tree, just barely missing them both, but alas...the cable is still too short. Only a car to the left or right of me could help.

I ask to borrow his cables and that I'll return them later. He agrees, gives me his address and is off (he had 2 little kids in the car). A few minutes later an Indian couple and a older white couple see me sitting on my disabled car. They both offer to help. The Indian man has some sort of starter system which plugs into cigarette lighters. However, the cable isn't long enough to reach my car. Luckily the owners of the one car to my right show up. Somehow they don't even seem to notice the commotion that I'm creating, but they leave and this allows the older white man to pull his minivan parallel to my car. We use the jumper cables I borrowed and presto, the car starts. I quickly rush back into the grocery store to get my cart. I get the cart, reload my trunk, thank the couple for their help and drive off.

I had planned to go back home, drop off my groceries and then head to Sears to get a new battery. As I'm driving back home I notice my dashboard's gauges are going nuts. The speedometer and the tachometer keep flicking back and forth. One moment it says my speed is 40, the next moment it dies. My car's power systems are lapsing in and out of consciousness. Somehow I make it back to my apartment. I leave my car on, not wanting it to die again. I dash for a shopping cart and push the loaded cart toward the apartment building like it was a bobsled. I rush up to my apartment, throw everything in the fridge and hurry back downstairs.

I sprint to my car and it's eerily silent. It's dead again. Damnit! I call my father for help again. He gets me the number for Sears. I try calling them - their stupid voice-recognition system sucks! I say 'auto' and it keeps sending me to appliances! The appliance guy can't transfer me to auto and he gives me a phone number. The first time I call I get some music store. I must have written down the wrong number. I call back and deal with the idiotic voice system. Somehow it can't tell when I'm saying 'yes' or 'no'. I curse at the robotic female voice. I connect with the auto center. The phone rings...maybe a dozen times. No answer. It's 4:30. Maybe they're closed. That would be a pain in the ass.

I call the main Sears number again...and again saying 'auto' puts me through to appliances. I get the same guy who gives me the same phone number. I try again - finally someone answers! Luckily they're open until 6 and they can put a new battery in my car if I can get it there in the next hour.

A good break! There's a guy in the parking lot cleaning his BMW. I ask him for a jump and at first he's reluctant because the battery is in the trunk...not sure why. But he agrees and pulls around to my car. The battery has leads under the hood. I hook up the cables and boom, my car is running again. I thank him profusely and drive off to Sears.

I drive for about 5 minutes when I notice my dashboard is acting like a metronome again. I'm on the main road of the town - 3 lane thruway. One moment I'm doing 45 then I notice my tach is back down to zero. I hit the gas...nothing. Shit, my car is dead again. I'm coasting. I quickly put on my 4-way flashers so I don't get rear-ended by the heavy traffic. I manage to pull off in front of an empty building. I really have to muscle the steering wheel to pull over - I guess power steering isn't working. Now my car is dead again and I'm standing along side the road as scores of cars whiz by.

I call Sears again to tell them I didn't make it. They tell me they can't tow me or do roadside service, but they can tell me the number of a towing company. They put me on hold. I wait...and wait...and wait. Realizing they may have forgotten about me, I hang up and use GOOG411 (Google's free 411 service). Their automated voice system is actually smart and connects me to a tow company. It'll be $125 plus tax - sure, whatever. I have no other choice anyway. About 15 minutes later the tow truck shows up. The guy is dressed in camo pants. Apparently he was in the army.

My car can't get out of neutral so the guy does something I've never seen before. There's little rectangular button near the D on my transmission. He pops it off and using a little pocketknife manually puts my car in neutral. Apparently there is a way to get it in neutral even if you can't start the car. He loads up my car and we're off to Sears.

He drops me off at Sears and they take my car in. I pay the tow trucker driver and thank him. He was nice and helpful too. The guy at Sears was very calming. He took my car in and filled out the paperwork. About 15 minutes later he informed me my alternator was fine - thank Jebus. They put in a new battery and it was fixed. I drive off relieved and stop by to return the jumper cables. What an ordeal.

Lessons Learned:
1. Buy jumper cables
2. Cell phones are invaluable
3. Get your car serviced as per the manufacturer's schedule (I haven't done my 60K service even though it's 3K over due)
4. Help people with car troubles
5. It's nice to have parents you can count on.
6. It's amazing how much we rely on cars.

I was quite panicky and stressed out throughout the situation. It was hot and humid and I felt powerless. I couldn't push my car to Sears, nor could I repair it myself. I feel grateful for the strangers who were kind enough to help me - the man who loaned me his jumper cables and drove his SUV up on the curb to try and reach my car. The Indian couple who offered their charging system. The elderly white couple who jumped me. The girl in the grocery store who took my cart into the fridge. The guy in my apartment parking lot who jumped me with his BMW. The guy at Sears who assured me they could fix it today. The tow truck driver...

Granted the tow truck driver and Sears guy were paid ($125+tax for the tow...~$80 for a new battery + service) but they were nice nonetheless. The people who helped me out of their own kindness were even more appreciated.

Oh, and after I left Sears I immediately went to fill up my gas tank. I was low the whole time too...that would have been another kick in the nuts if I had finally gotten my battery working only to run out of gas.

So, I owe the world one. Next time I see someone in need of car help I'm going to offer them a jump, use my cellphone, or anything that may help them. It can be stressful, but it's nice to know there are people out there to help.

Gymettiquette

I recently started going to a gym. It had been almost 2 years since I had been exercising with weights regularly and even now I'm still not back into the flow of things. The gym I go to advertises itself as a place where anybody and everyone can work out without having to fear being 'evaluated' by others.

It has certain rules enacted to discourage so called 'musclehead' behavior. For instance, no bandanas are allowed. No gallon jugs of water. No grunting, no deadlifting, no weight dropping - all things associated with burly he-men lifting massive amounts of weight.

These rules do a pretty good job of keeping out a particular type of gym-goer but the 'anyone can work out here' atmosphere leads to all sorts of people. I'll list some of those types that bug me and then some that I respect.

WTF?!

1. People who dress inappropriately for the gym
I wear mesh shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers. This is pretty standard attire. Some folks wear tank tops, compression shirts, or cut-off t-shirts. That's fine by me. Sweatpants, sure - windpants, that's okay too. Even spandex is okay. But then you have the group of people who come to the gym in street clothes. I'm talking about polo shirts, sandals (some with socks), jeans, khaki shorts, women who wear tops that were certainly intended for club wear...

I'm not sure if these people didn't realize that it might be appropriate to dress in athletic clothes or if they simply were so busy they walked in right off the street and had to get a quick workout in in their work clothes.


Standard gym footwear for far too many...


2. Camoflauge
You're at a gym. You're not hunting and you're not hiding. Why are you wearing camo shorts or a camo shirt? Unless you're in the armed forces you shouldn't be wearing camo at the gym.


No, just no.

3. Men who dress like women
This usually only applies to guys who think they are the next coming of Ahnuld. They show up in these shirts that must be sold at Victoria's Secret. Skimpy little halter tops, spaghetti straps...ugg, it looks so wrong! I'm not sure how wearing women's lingerie makes you more of a manly man.


Ready for your workout, big boy?

4. Social butterflies
These people occupy a piece of equipment while chatting away. They might be sitting on a bench or under a squat rack but the one thing they always have in common is that they're taking up the machine without using it. Usually it's not a problem, but if the gym is crowded it's discourteous.

5. Germ-a-phobes
I've only seen 1 person do this, but it really weirded me out. This old guy was carrying around 2 paper towels - one in each hand and for each piece of equipment he used, he gripped the handles of the machine with these towels. If you're that afraid of germs, you probably shouldn't be in a public place like a gym. Also, do you really have faith the antiseptic properties of a 1mm thick, sweat soaked 55%-recycled post consumer waste paper towel?

6. Mr. Triangle
These guys have massive upper bodies and tiny toothpick legs. They just look funny, that's all.

7. Guy who stands in the locker room naked
Okay, there's a shower so you have an excuse to undress, but it's not necessary to stand in the middle of the locker room with your ass flapping in the breeze. Put on some pants already, geez.

***

Good for you
1. The morbidly obese or obviously out of shape person at the gym
I respect these people because they know they're fat BUT they're trying! Instead of sitting at home complaining about how fat they are while scarfing down M&Ms these people are actually doing something pro-active. Everyone has to start somewhere - kudos to these people.


Hey, at least they're trying.

2. A girl lifting free weights
Assuming the girl isn't in 'the pit' just to attract attention (which would be easy considering there's about a 40:1 male to female ratio) in the free-weight section, I think it's great that she's not weirded out by free weights. Some women have the idea that if they do anything other than cardio and machines they'll hulk up like Lou Ferrigno. Sure it can be intimidating in the pit, so all the more props to the girl who is brave enough to enter.

3. Guy wearing a big sweatshirt
This is the opposite of the guy wearing the lingerie. It can be clear that this guy is huge but he doesn't care about showing off his delts. Instead he's wearing a sweatshirt and is just focused on his exercise. The same goes for the guy with the headphones - he doesn't socialize, he's in his own world where he just does his thing and leaves. No BS.

4. People who wipe down the equipment
It's common courtesy but not everyone does it. A little sweat won't give you AIDS, but still, it's nice to know that the previous person cared enough to clean up a bit.

***

So that's all I have for now folks. My suggestion for all - sneakers, athletic shorts, and a t-shirt. It's a classic for a reason.