Chinese Gymnasts' Age Controversy

The recent Beijing Olympics women's gymnastics competition has generated an extreme amount of controversy surrounding the age of China's gold medal-winning gymnasts. The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has asked the FÉDÉRATION INTERNATIONALE DE GYMNASTIQUE (FIG) to look further into this matter.

After an extensive investigation involving meticulously combing through thousands of reams of government forms, this is what they found:

- He Kexin actually advanced cybernetic gym-bot from the future

- Great Wall apparently not visible from space

- Confucious didn't say all that stuff

- Fortune cookies predictions only accurate 78% of time

- General Tso was a fervent vegan

- China makes a lot of crap

- Mao Zedong actually Mexican