There's no end to the week

When you're working a regular full-time job there's a pretty clear delineation between the workweek and the weekend. For the most part, when I was working (at the bowling alley) I went to work M-F and then did nothing related to work Saturday and Sunday. The total change of pace for 2 days a week was refreshing.

Oddly enough, being a student again has made that line blur. Although I only have class M-F I don't find my weekends being nearly as relaxed as before. Obviously, I have school-related things to do now which take up most of my time.

It's sad to say, but I feel like the only real difference (and obvious one at that) is that on weekends I don't have class. I guess I also have less social contact with people.

I've come to realize that in life, there are always those who are working...all the time. If you plan on competing with them you have to keep up the pace, but the problem is that the race is never-ending. So you either gotta be in it for the long haul, or just accept the fact that you'll fall behind.

I don't like either alternative. I definitely don't have the type of endurance some of my colleagues have that can just stare at the same book for 20 hours a day. At the same time, their zeal has rubbed off on me...I feel in a mostly negative way that I feel guilty if I'm being unproductive. Part of it is due to my education, I'm sure...you know, all about efficiency to keep the lanes running optimally.

On the other hand it seems crazy to think that you've gotta be running your entire life. There are so many cliches about this 'when you're sleeping...your competitor is working' and the like.

I'm not working toward some great truth here, it's just a simple realization of the futility or endless pursuit we have to choose. Of course you can go with moderation, but that's really just giving up on the chase.

Another topic that I seem to be coming back to more and more...alcohol.

I think just once I'd like to experience alcohol as everyone else does - I want to feel it's uninhibiting effects and just fly off the handle and be irresponsible for a night. It must be really great considering the number of times I've seen/heard someone puking their guts out while saying something like 'I'm never going to drink again!' and then 8 hours later see him heading to the bar.

It's gotta be fantastic and I honestly feel like I'm missing a large part of my existence. You know, sorta like when people say they feel a void in their lives...and then they found Jesus.