De-socialization

There's a party tonight that's literally 30 seconds away from me...walking. I considered going, but I feel tired and lazy. I want to go bed, but a part of me feels guilty for not socializing.

I guess I haven't turned into a complete hermit yet because I have some tinge of guilt. It's a bit depressing and at the same time, comforting that I've accepted this change. Socializing takes energy, but gives you energy.

It got colder too. It's amazing how much that affects people.

Again, whining about alcohol...

I enjoy the taste of beer but the effect it has on me is so unpleasant and embarrassing. I can only imagine what it'd be like to crave alcohol. Crave the taste and the way it makes you feel. I'd like to know what it feels like to be driven by this one substance such that its presence justifies any event. Go there to drink.

As for me, alcohol has no draw. If I go to a party it'll be to socialize/talk to new people. I guess that's what parties are supposed to be for, right?

All the same, I wish I could just be drawn to the streetlamp like a moth.