What's love got to do, got do with it?

"Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken"
- Tina Turner

Okay, so before you start laughing, I'm not actually a Tina Turner fan. This just happened to be the first phrase that popped into my mind when I thought about the topic I'm going to write about.

So, let's talk about love and marriage - two topics that I have very little experience in. I'm 24 - I don't really have the desire to be married right now, even if I was currently dating someone. However, many of my friends who are the same age as me are engaged to be married. I've been to one such wedding already and have 3 more on the agenda in the next year or so. So I've talked a bit about the topic with these friends as well as with my parents who have been married for ...close to 25 years now I believe.

I've noticed a distinct difference in the marriage philosophies between myself and my parents. I believe the major reason for this is due to a difference in cultures, but another part of it is generational.

I'll start with "my" viewpoint, which is in line with that of most Americans of my generation.

1. You look for 'the one' and you marry someone if you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
There are people who actually believe there is exactly one person on Earth who is their perfect match. I don't believe in this - mathematically the odds of 2 people finding each other in a sea of 6 billion is close to zero. What if your perfect match falls into a bottomless pit when she's 8 years old and is never seen again? Tough luck, buddy...get used to being single. This is ludicrous. You can love more than one person just like you can have more than one friend.

So you meet someone who you love and he/she loves you back and you think "I could spend the rest of my life with this person" so you jump in the car, drive to Vegas and get hitched for $29.99 at some quik-e-wedding chapel. Then you go home, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 kids, and live happily ever after!

The viewpoint my parents have:

2. You meet someone who you think is a good person of solid character who treats you well and can provide for you and a future family. You get married and spend the rest of your life with that person.
So what's the difference here? Well, you still end up moving into your white picket fence enclosed property but there's no mention of the magical word "love". Instead of love, the deciding factors are character, how well the person treats you, and the ability for the person to provide. You live happily ever after!

Of course in either situation we know that things don't always last forever. The divorce rate in America exceeds 50% - meaning that every time a couple gets married they are more than likely to get divorced before one of them passes away.

If you subscribe to situation 1, you might say - well that just means they didn't find their true love. This could be the case. Maybe you think you found your true love, get married, stay married for 25 days (or years), and one day wake up and think "Oh no...she isn't the one!"

Likewise, for situation 2 believers perhaps something changed - you misjudged the character, the person started treating you badly or was no longer able to provide for you.

In the real world, neither of the two scenarios comes with a lifetime warranty. Since the bond of marriage is an artificial, man-made one it can be broken. Only ties that are established through the most primitive means (mother and child) are truly permanent.

So back to #1. The idea of finding true love is prevalent in American culture. Take a look at any TV show, novel, or movie. The typical story line involves the hero rescuing the girl, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Disney is a great example of this - pretty much any fairytale uses this structure. The same goes for movies...I won't even start to list titles, but take any movie that's regarded as a chick flick and I guarantee it follows this pattern.

The point to note is that love is a prerequisite for marriage.

#2 - Love is NOT a prerequisite for marriage. However, this doesn't mean that love can't play a role. It's certainly possible for two people to get married and develop love over time.

So which philosophy should you and I be following?

Well, if you don't believe