Remembrance

You know, you could die at any moment. I'm not trying to freak you out, but it's true. I could have a heart attack as I type this very blog entry which in the case that that happens (yes, two usages of 'that' in a row) you'll probably see something like thissssssssssssss.......;j afdsfa
sj jsiafjij;a 4t
MJ

...of course I wouldn't be able to hit 'Publish Post' to upload this entry so it'd never make it to the web, but you get my point.

Anyway, the point is despite our perceived sense of security and longevity the randomness of the universe makes it possible that your life will end at any moment with or without warning.

One of the first things we do upon hearing the news of someone's death is to reflect on his or her life. In my experience most people want to do something admirable with their lives, make some significant contribution to society or cause some sort of change for the better. Often times achieving such momentous accomplishments takes a lifetime of hard work and perseverance. It may mean making many self sacrifices for the greater good of the people. It may also mean not receiving any recognition for your work in your lifetime, if at all.

It could take a long time.

But what happens if you don't live long enough to make it happen?

I'm 24 right now. I haven't really accomplished anything noteworthy other than graduate high school and graduate college, but hell, millions of people have done that. No one is going to be writing an article in world history books or even Wikipedia about my graduations.

If I was to die today what would the world remember me for?

Ask yourself this question.

The bigger point I'm trying to illustrate here is that you shouldn't view your life goal as the pinnacle of a mountain that requires decades and decades to reach. Your success shouldn't be defined by a singular achievement or quantifiable figure. For instance, many people use money as a goal. It's common, it's easily counted, and with enough time and hard work (or luck or criminal activity) you can get enough of it to reach your goal. But if you never make that number, was your life a failure?

Define your legacy by the way you live your life on a day-to-day basis. People will remember how you treated them, your personality, your passions... These things are much more important than the fact that you invented the light bulb or discovered radium.

I'm not diminishing the importance of inventions or scientific discovery, but as for me...I'd rather be remembered for the type of person I was rather than what knowledge or materials I left behind.

Playoffs?! Playoffs?!

A common sight in Steeler country

Pats win, no big surprise. I was hoping for a Jags upset.
Packers win, I'm happy about that.
Chargers win, I'm neutral about that.
Giants win, I'm happy about that.

AFC
San Diego at New England
Even before the injuries to Rivers, LT, Gates, and Neal I'd say the Chargers had no shot. Now with all those injuries it's almost a complete lock for the Pats. I hate to say it, but the Pats are going 19-0. Those fuckers.

NFC
New York at Green Bay
I'm rooting for the Giants since I live in NY, but I don't think they have much of a shot. GB has the superior offense and defense. Giants have a banged up secondary and that's the name of GB's game. Plax is still hurt. GB wins big.

Super Bowl
New England crushes Green Bay
Favre retires. Everyone ignores the fact the Pats were found guilty of cheating.

***

As I watch the playoffs the one glaring thing that pops up over and over again is the OFFENSIVE LINE. I believe this is the biggest difference between a good team and a bad team. It's not about the QB or the RB...even the WRs. If you have a solid O-line pretty much any NFL QB can look good back there. This is where the Steelers suck terribly. Let's think about the playoff teams this year:

GB - Favre sacked 15 times
TAM - Garcia sacked 19 times
NE - Brady sacked 21 times
JAX - Garrard sacked 21 times (only started 12/16 games)
IND - P. Manning sacked 21 times
WSH - Campbell sacked 21 times
SD - Rivers sacked 22 times
DAL - Romo sacked 24 times
TEN - Young sacked 25 times
NY - E. Manning sacked 27 times
SEA - Hasselbeck sacked 33 times
PIT - Roethlisberger sacked 47 times


Hmmm, what stands out here? Yes, Ben holds onto the ball too long and fails to throw it away. But, of all the QBs on the list he might be the most adept at avoiding sacks by breaking tackles (so is V. Young). He also drops back less to pass than almost all of those QBs. For a comparison let's look at Tom Brady who attempted 578 passes in the regular season and was sacked 21 times. That's 1 sack every 27. 5 pass attempts.

Now Big Ben threw 404 times and was sacked 47 times. That's 1 sack every 8.6 drop backs!

Now, obviously it's not all the o-line's fault. A pass happy offense like NE demands that a safety double up on Moss so it's probably pretty rare that a team blitzes Brady, but still the numbers are staggering.

In conclusion, the Steelers are in for a losing season next year unless significant additions to the o-line are made via FA or the draft.

Random facts about me

Quick fire things about me that you may not know

• I cannot stand to have greasy hands
• I wash my hands a lot due to greasy hands.
• I hate washing dishes.
  
• I haven't lifted weights in many months.
• I'm the same weight I was coming out of college.
• I still have clothes in my closet from middle school.
• I still fit in some of those clothes.
• I like dark chocolate more than non-dark chocolate.
• I used to live right across the street from the Reese's factory.
• It's pronounced REE-SIZZ, not REE-SEES
• I am a night owl who likes to wake up early.
• I almost always fail at the waking up early part.
• I have basic cable.
• I'm not paying an extra $20 to get ESPN.
• Fuck you Cablevision.
• One of the first things I do every day is turn on my computer.
• One of the last things I do every day is turn off my computer.
• I remember a time where I didn't have internet.
• My screenname pays homage to Tenacious D.
• Jack Black is a better singer than 95% of pop artists today.
• A guy at work looks just like Kyle Gass.
• My Chinese skills are decaying from a lack of use.
• This saddens me, but I can't do much about it without moving to Taiwan.
• While in Taiwan I was in an earthquake.
• I was watching True Lies at the time.
• Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite, seriously, look it up.
• I participated in bullying when I was younger.
• But I never was involved in a fight, ever.
• I'm convinced my fingernails grow longer after a shower.
• Baths are nice but I end up spending about 10X the time in the bathroom and don't even get clean.
• I am very competitive.
• I get pissed off when I lose at basketball league even if I know I'm outsized, outmatched, etc.
• I get depressed when I lose, but it's pretty temporary.
• I wrestled in high school and even though I wasn't very good, I'm convinced I could take anyone in a street fight.
• Did I mention I've never been in a fight before?
• In high school I was once interested in eugenics, but only really for the shock value.
• I think fluorescent lighting looks bad, but it is energy efficient.
• I have a bad habit of eating late at night.
  
• It's probably because I stay up so late.
• Sumo wrestlers eat and then sleep immediately for maximum weight gain.
• For some reason people come to me for relationship advice even though I'm pretty inexperienced in that department.
• I've had the same haircut for the last 15 years.
• I can't part my hair.
• I used to look at myself in the mirror and think that I had a nice looking body, but not a nice looking face.
• That's really quite sad now that I think about it.
• I still don't think I'm especially winsome, but what can you do?
• Looks DO matter though. If someone says they don't, they're lying...unless they're blind.
• I don't like wine.
• I went to France for two weeks and hardly had more than a few glasses.
• I like beer now. Not IPA...not Guiness.
• I get severe Asian Glow syndrome.
• I never knew IKEA furniture was cheap.
• I think it looks pretty damn stylish.
• I really like yogurt.
• I've liked yogurt since I was a baby.
• I can't whistle or sing or snap my fingers well.
• I can't palm a basketball, but I can touch rim.
• When I was in high school I claimed I'd shave my head when I went to college.
• I never did.
• I had an internet girlfriend once (probably about 10 years ago)
  
• She was from Louisana supposedly.
• Chris Hansen did not walk into the room.
• I did not take a seat.
• I like animals.
• I had a pet rabbit named Carrot.
• Rabbits are boring so we gave him away.
• I also had a pet cat named Bailey.
• Bailey was run over by a car and died.
• I want a dog, probably a bulldog.
• Bulldogs have a lot of health problems.
• I rarely get sick.
• I believe in psychosomatics.
• I like the Houston Rockets and Detroit Pistons.
• Steelers. Period.
• I went to my first game in 2007 at the Meadowlands where the Steelers lost to the puny Jets.
• Some drunk Jets fan was elbowing me throughout the game.
• I used to write poetry in my dark high school days.
• I even wrote a poem in Spanish called 'Mundo Oscuro'.
• I once was pretty good at hacky sack.
• This was when I attended PGSAS in 2001.
• When I first found out I had to get glasses I cried like a little girl.
• I still hate wearing glasses.
• I want to get laser eye surgery.
• I think I'd enjoy a job removing barnacles from boat hulls.
• Don't touch the screen of my monitor.
• Wendy's has the best fast food.
• I've eaten 378 orders of chicken nuggets.
• Sweet and sour and honey mustard, please.
• I worked at Hersheypark in high school.
• I sold t-shirts in some shitty gazebo.
• The only good part was checking out the girls in their bikinis.
• Some girl once grabbed my ass while I was walking through the park and said 'You're number 5!'
• I made out with a girl named Misty.
  
• That was her real name.
• She was not a stripper.
• I require total darkness and silence to fall asleep.
• I've been told I snore.
• I don't like peeling shrimp.
• I haven't washed my car since I've bought it.
• My dad has washed it for me since I refused to.
• Bathrobes are awesome.
• I have a green Trek mountain bike.
• I've ridden it once in the last two years.
• I've been skiing twice in my life.
• Waterskiing is really hard.
• It hurts like a mother when you wipe out.
• I've never broken a bone or had surgery (unless you count wisdom teeth).
• When I was younger one of my goals was to never have surgery.
• I have very well defined biceps despite not working out.
• I enjoy cleaning out my bellybutton lint.
• I think my eyebrows make me look angry when I'm not.
• I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.
• I smoked a cigar one time.
• I once saw Officer Warlow (who taught my elementary school DARE class) smoking.
• I was traumatized.
• I like Japanese mayonnaise.
• I also like roasted eel.
• I drink a lot of water when I'm in my apartment.
• I stopped drinking out of the water fountains at work.
• Optical mice are amazing.
• I'm concerned about ergonomics.
• I thought about building my own desk.
• The tools I own are housed in a pink plastic case that originally held magic markers.
• I have a good phone sex voice (so I've been told.)
• I worked as a telephone reservations agent for Herco.
• Thank you for calling Hershey, this is Bob. How may I help you?
• Most people cannot pronounce my last name correctly or spell it.
• I am addicted to youtube and Wikipedia.

That's it for now. Hope you learned something.

First post of 2008

Hi. I haven't written here in over 6 months... In typical form, I build up enthusiasm for something over a short period of time and then it quickly diminishes to nothing. Well, for some reason I felt like writing again. Perhaps it's a good way for me to vent when no one is around to talk to.

You know, it was my birthday recently. I turned 24 which I guess compared to most people in the real world is rather young. However, more than a quarter of my life has expired, unless I live past 100. For all the education I've supposedly received I realize how little of it I retain.

I was going through a bunch of shit I have lying around in my apartment and it hit me how much of a packrat I've become. I have all these papers from college. I finally got around to weeding some of this stuff out and throwing it all in a big trashcan. Some of the papers have sensitive info so I'll probably end up drenching it in water rather than individually shred 6000 sheets of paper. Anyway, here I am...K-12, 4 years of college, blah blah blah and if you ask me about what truths I know for certain I don't have many.

1. The only true love I know is that from/for my family.

I'm not saying I don't believe true love can exist between two unrelated people, but at this point in my life I only know that the love between my family and I is permanent. NOTHING could destroy it. Period.

2. You can't sit back and wait for things to happen.

This applies to everything in life. Nothing will fall in your lap or be handed to you. If you want it, you have to get it. I wish I was more aggressive, but I'm not. I'm a bit of a wimp, but I'm trying to get better.

3. The motivation to work hard is infinitely more valuable than genius.

I am no genius. I took a IQ test when I was in 3rd grade and supposedly I got a high score. I was in the 'gifted' program throughout school. I was in the honors college at Penn State. I graduated with high distinction. I am not a genius. I believe I'm of average intelligence. Probably below average in mathematical abilities. For some reason I'm terrible at chemistry.

Anyway, I'd trade any shred of genius I have for drive. Once in awhile late at night I'll have an idea which seems pretty amazing at the time. But as I mentioned before, my interest in that lasts about 30 minutes and then it's gone. I have several papers with ideas for inventions, businesses scattered around my apartment but I've seldom acted upon them.

Those are all the truths I''ll write about for now. Nothing comes to mind easily.

On a plus note, I've managed to get myself in the habit of flossing daily. My dental hygienist will be most pleased. A long time ago I also got myself in the habit of brushing my tongue. It still occasionally triggers my gag reflex though. The key is to keep breathing while you're brushing your tongue. I think that way it tells your body you're not choking on anything.

My apartment is so strange. It's always so freaking hot. I have both windows in the living room open and the heat turned down (I think I turned the knob the right way) and I could walk around here in my underwear and work up a sweat while changing channels on the TV. It is nice to be able to wear shorts year round though. Thank god I don't have to pay for heat.

Oh, so I have two of these super efficient light bulbs that last for years and resemble pig tails. Supposedly if they break they'll leak mercury or something. So handle with care lest you want to mess up your brain.

My corn plant is on life support. It used to be lush and full of leaves now I'm doing to 3. Not sure what happened...maybe it ran out of nutrients. It's certainly not a lack of water. I suspected it might be lack of sunlight...but after moving it to a more illuminated spot it didn't seem to make a difference. I should get more plants to spruce up my spartan living room.

THIS IS MADNESS!

No, this is PLANT DEPOT!

A Enemy of the People

Early Sunday afternoon I finally fulfilled my promise to go find a library. Turns out there’s a small one called the Grinnell Library very close to my apartment complex. It’s a very interesting looking building and has a very homey feel to it.

It’s quite small and only has 2 floors. The 2^nd floor has a great room of sorts which really has the feel of a library or den you’d find in a mansion. It’s also weird how their books are catalogued by subject. For instance books about dinosaurs might all start with 675 while books about cooking start with 390. Anyway, I went in, applied and obtained a library card and checked out two books.

I got The Republic by Plato and a book of 4 plays by Ibsen. I had read A Doll’s House and Ghosts in high school and enjoyed them so I decided to read some more of his plays. I’m currently reading A Enemy of the People.

Based on the two Ibsen plays I’ve read his plays tend to not be really packed with action or violence, but they are exciting at a more cerebral level. He also has a knack for making dramatic, subtle, but powerful endings.

So I read through two acts of A Enemy of the People last night making it the first time in a good while that I’ve actually read something other than a magazine or website. It’s pretty interesting. Basically so far the plot centers around a family who lives in a town that has these baths (which are basically like therapeutic spas or natural springs). These baths are the source of the town’s livelihood and the main character Dr. so and so (don’t remember his name) actually works at the baths. The doctor’s brother is actually the mayor of the town and it appears the two kind of have a sibling rivalry going on. The doctor, although he is a doctor, doesn’t seem to command the type of respect you think he would. Instead, he’s overshadowed by his brother who besides being the mayor is also the police chief and serves on many boards. In one scene the brothers quibble over who should be awarded credit for coming up with the idea to build the baths that revived the economy of the town.

So the big news happens when the doctor receives a letter in the mail. He reveals it’s the results from a lab. It turns out the doctor has suspected the water in the baths is polluted and is actually making the clients sick. He lacked the equipment to verify this himself so he took samples and sent them off to be analyzed. The lab results allow him to conclude that his suspicions of poisoned water were correct! He happens to tell his family as well as several members of the local paper who are working with him to publish an article.

Of course he informs his brother of the news before deciding to publish the article. A huge conflict ensues. The brother realizes the impact that such an article would cause. He fears it will destroy the town as no one will ever come to the baths again after it’s deemed that the very water that is supposed to heal them is toxic. The doctor also states it’s necessary to completely reconstruct the town’s water system. The mayor points out this will cost “hundreds of thousands of crowns” (not sure how much a crown is) and will take several years. In the span of that time the town’s economy will die. And he brings up another fact that even if they manage to raise the capital and reconstruct the water system during this time rival towns will be sure to start their own baths and the market will be taken away from them. The mayor says the doctor’s tests could be inaccurate and he frankly doesn’t believe the validity of his claims. He also calls his brother “a enemy of society” and is furious that he’d consider unleashing such a claim that would destroy the very town he lives in (not to mention, put him out of a job).

The doctor is obviously quite conflicted. On one hand he feels a sense of duty as a citizen and a doctor to inform the public of the hazard but at the same time he knows what his brother says is probably true. Releasing this news would probably result in his unemployment and the economic collapse of the town. He also feels that the people who designed the faulty waterway should be held accountable so that the infallibility of the ruling class is degraded. The conflict is evident in his own family. His daughter Petra roots for the idealistic side to prevail while his wife weeps thinking about the fate of her family.

I’ll write more as I read more.